ART OF THE SHOWER

fairly certain i have NAILED the perfect shower. obviously i have to share this amazingness. 

STEP 1: (optional) get a little bit high. but don’t be drunk. this results in breaking things and forgetting to rinse the shampoo properly. 

STEP 2: invest in a shower radio (upper right corner). my mum got me this for christmas (yessss! wish list!) and it is overly perfect. though battery operated, it has withstood the test of time…and the test of standing in as my surround sound system for the home. i have no cable. i have shoddy internet. with the help of the bf, we’ve set up an instant netflix, via computer, hooked to t.v., hooked up to the wireless shower stereo, home theatre. it’s amazing. bonus: i carry the thing around like it’s 1991 and jam out while getting ready in the closet. (i hope that doesn’t sound as weird as it does to me.)

side note: i don’t normally take very long showers (2-3 minutes max on non-hair washing days). for those of you who are trying to cut down on your water consumption, you can use the radio as a timer. i.e. try to finish your showering activities in the course of one or two songs.

brand = Smartak Audio. i have no clue where she got it, but you should do the research and find it for yourself. it’s more amazing than i ever thought it could be. fist pumps for the mum.

STEP 3: obviously put a play list together. equal parts angsty and lyrically beautiful. there is never a better moment to sing your lungs out to angry music than in the shower. i believe this with all my being. 
DOWNLOAD: buoy / the joy formidable, somebody that i used to know / gotye, astral weeks / van morrison

STEP 4: the water should be as hot as you can handle. the intent is to get a semi-steam spa experience going. i, for one, can not handle baths. i get anxious and irritated. the hot, hot shower works way better for me. plus, when fighting the winter flu’s, the steam helps big time in making the body healthy and fully functioning. 

STEP 5: get some legit, delicious smelling soap. dove is nice for every day, but you’ll want to step it up a notch. purchase something that seems french and is labelled “poppy” or “vegetable garden”. (bottom rung, next to razor).

STEP 6: if you are ever going to Neti, this is the time. you are most relaxed, the mess won’t bother you as much, and - again - the steam helps keep things open and flowing. (middle rung, next to baby oil).

STEP 7: THE BEST AND - PERHAPS - MOST ESSENTIAL PART OF THE ART OF THE SHOWER. a fricking Clarisonic. (top rung, far right) i know. i know. they are ridiculously expensive. i think it’s a total shame, the price they charge. BUT. believe me. they are worth it! i can not stress this enough. do NOT buy the original - there really isn’t a difference other than an astronomical price change. buy the mini travel size verision. these things are incredibly amazing. nothing has changed my life so greatly since the clarisonic. i swear my pores are gone, if not greatly decreased. i know i’ve been lucked with really good skin, but this has taken it to a whole new level. word on the street is that, with a bit of time, people have had great results in the reduction of scars and pock marks. i think i’m already seeing this. plus, you can use it on the back of your hands, your bust cleave, etc…. to keep skin fresh and glowy. need more reason to get one? the bf has started using it and - within hours - has become similarily obsessed. this is a man who is bare bones when it comes to skin care. as he explained to the lady at nordstrom: “i thought the shampoo that rinses out of my hair and onto my face was working just fine. no?” come on. 
full confession: i befriended someone who works at a salon and i got mine for the discounted price. i am - by no means - a person who can afford this at full price. if you are in a similar position i suggest you: a) find a salon employee and make friends with them real quick or b) start asking for gift cards or c) commit a salon drive-by and get me some new nail polish while you’re at it or d) ask your partner or parents or e) buy one for your significant others birthday and then use it yourself. it’s so so so worth it. 

STEP 8: finish with a light rub down of Johnson&Johnson’s baby oil shower gel (next to the neti pot). i seem to only be able to find the cocoa/shea butter scent but i KNOW somewhere out there is the lavender one. (which i prefer way more.) my aunt introduced me to this years ago and i’ve been hooked ever since. you only have to use a little tiny bit. apply immediately after you turn off the water  - do not even think about drying off yet. it leaves you glowy and eternally moist (gawd i wish there was a better word than moist. anybody?) and soft and baby-bottom-like. it’s really, really lovely. and so cheap you won’t feel as guilty about the money you invested in the clarisonic. 

obviously, wash your hair/body as you normally would. don’t deviate from whatever routine you have; just include these little elements. holy hell, a shower never felt this good.